Pregnancy is wonderful… right?

I won’t lie. The first trimester sucked. I am lucky I didn’t actually get full blown morning sickness or anything, but I constantly felt nauseous and couldn’t bring myself to eat anything. I probably only vomited a total of 2 or 3 times, but the constant sick feeling left me feeling horrible. Because I wasn’t eating, I had no energy and wondered why on earth anyone would want to ever be pregnant.

Moving house didn’t make me feel any better either. I had no energy to help Amber pack our house or do anything, Maverick was lucky to have me play with him! We were so blessed to have so many people help us move. Not only did they take time out to move carloads and carloads of our crap 8 minutes down the road, they helped put boxes into correct rooms and helped us put new furniture together. I normally love putting flat packs together, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything. I was SO worn out. Growing a baby is tiring.

Thankfully by Christmas I was starting to feel more human and I was so excited that I could actually enjoy the lovely Christmas dinner. It had been a long 14 or 16 weeks and I had dropped weight from not eating. Since we were in our new house over the holiday period we enjoyed entertaining my family on Christmas Eve. We were feeling very blessed to have a new house, family surrounding us and a baby on the way!

My pregnancy has been quite uneventful. Each ultrasound is nerve-wracking. You can never grantee that everything will be going ok so you always walk in a little nervous. Each ultrasound was great, always a great heartbeat and nothing to worry about. The gender scan was probably the most exciting one. Was baby going to be a boy or a girl? Brother or sister for Maverick? I really wanted for Mav to have a brother, even out the house a little, but I knew deep down that I was going to have a girl. After about an hour the sonographer finally said yes she could see that we were having a girl. A girl that was very cheeky and took ages to show herself! I had to drink and walk and jump up and down to finally get the answer! Needless to say everyone was super happy!

It probably took me a good week or so to actually come to terms with the fact I was having a girl. Yes part of it was disappointment as I really wanted another boy, then it was just strange to think we were adding a little girl to our crazy family! Once we started buying all the clothes and things for her – the disappointment quickly went away. Even Maverick was and is still excited for “baby sissy” to arrive.

The second trimester was fairly easy. I felt good, had some energy and finally thought “I can do this” I didn’t really have any issues except for a lot of pressure due to starting to put on weight and felt quite uncomfortable down there. Feeling her movements and knowing she was growing in there was so exciting.

It all seemed to go fairly quickly and all of a sudden I was hitting the third trimester and I was starting to slow down at work. I was finishing up my position as director of the centre and I would soon be on the floor with the children 5 days a week.

As the third trimester went on, I started to feel that tired and sore feeling all over again. I would get tired and out of breath quite quickly. Not good when you’re trying to read a book to 30 3 year olds! Maternity leave was fast approaching! I ended up having to drop down to 4 days a week by the time I was 32 weeks. Having that one day was great even though I usually had a doctors appointment. It gave me time in the day to just relax.

Before I went on Maternity leave I had two baby showers. One with the work girls and one with friends and family. Baby was very spoilt and both baby showers were thoroughly enjoyed. People got to see the nursery and look at all the cute things we have ready for her.

Finally at 36 weeks, I was finally on maternity leave. I had only 4 weeks until the babies due date! It has all gone very fast with a mixture of me laying down and not doing anything, attempting to nest or at least clean the house a little and trying to spend some quality time with Mav before he becomes a big brother!

Now I am TWO days away from my due date, sitting here while Mav enjoys twisties and iPad time hoping that she will make an appearance soon. I haven’t felt anything to think she is coming – but lets just hope it all happens soon! She’s just smashed me in the ribs, it must be time to get off the laptop and stretch out a little.

The next update you will get is when she arrives. If you don’t follow my facebook page then you should get onto it. I update that a lot more regularly and I am sure something will appear on there first.

WISH ME LUCK!

 

 

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It must be time for an update!

It certainly has been a long time since my last update! There is so much to catch you all up on – if there is anyone out there who still reads this!!

I believe my last update was all about how a certain little boy had taken over our house, let me tell you – nothing has changed there. Other than the fact we have moved house yet again. We are finally in our newly built house (ok ok so we moved last year) We have done up our backyard so the big 2 year old has somewhere to run and play and we are all loving how much bigger this house is – including Ruby the dog.

There is also some big news in the house – if you don’t follow my Facebook page then you might not know I am currently 37 weeks pregnant! Yes that’s right, we decided mid year last year that maybe we should start thinking about adding another one to the family.

We figured with our history the more time we gave ourselves the better. My boss wasn’t returning from her maternity leave until Feb 2016 and we had to have a slight cross over (I was in her position while she was away) I ended up going to Melbourne for work around July so we thought end of July/August was the perfect time to start trying.

We had been through counselling and everything else we needed to go through for me to be able to use Ambers embryos. We had several in storage and I wasn’t confident that I would have a successful egg retrieval if I went through the IVF process myself. This lead to many conversations and eventually the decision that I would use Ambers embryos. That way Maverick would have a full biological sibling. (you may not remember I had been using a different donor as Ambers supply had ran out)

I was very nervous once the big day came. I hadn’t had any IVF procedures as yet. I remember as we were waiting to go through, Amber took two eyelashes off my face and I made two wishes. The first of course was that the procedure would be successful. The second was that I would give our son a brother. I remember making a similar wish when Amber went through her IVF procedure that gave us Maverick.

The two week wait was relatively uneventful and I was not feeling too confident. I had a couple of pregnancy signs – however after years of trying you know not to read too much into all of that! Two days before my official blood test we got some home tests in our shopping. Amber suggested I take a test before my very dear friend from South Australia was due to arrive. I remember saying how much of a waste it was – but lucky we had a second test that I could use the next day.

So, I of course did the wee into the cup and dipped the test in and handed it over to Amber. She took it along with the rubbish while I cleaned myself up. She took it into the kitchen and while Maverick was busy watching TV or playing with his toys she looks over at me as she put the rubbish in the bin and said “what would you do if I said you were pregnant” I was in shock. I couldn’t believe it “are you kidding” I asked?? She assured me she wouldn’t ever joke about something like that! Neither of us could believe how quickly the result came up. I must be good and pregnant.

We had a little cry of shock and excitement and joined Maverick in what he was doing. Of course the next day I took another test and yep clear as day there were definitely two lines again! We were pregnant, I was pregnant. I was going to grow Ambers baby and Maverick was going to be a big brother! It was all perfect timing of course – we would be moving in a couple of months!

Fast forward to May 2016 and I am on maternity leave with a big belly full of a beautiful baby sister for Maverick. (so yes the little wish I had at the procedure came true – pregnant, I didn’t mind that we were having a girl over a boy, as long as they are healthy right?)  We should be meeting this delightful addition within the next 3 weeks. I am excited and nervous about the whole idea of having two children, but I figure after everything Amber and I have dealt with over the years – it should be a walk in the park… right?? Ok well maybe not – but we will all figure it out as we go along.

 

My house has been taken over!

Well, we’ve almost been parents for a year now. The big boy will celebrate his 1st birthday NEXT WEEK! I can hardly believe how quickly it has all gone, it seems like only yesterday we were struggling with infertility. Our lives have changed completely and there is plenty we’ve had to get used to.

We’ve had to remind ourselves that it is OK to have a messy house, it can’t always be clean. I’d rather spend my time playing and rolling about with him than cleaning up behind him every 5 minutes. I figure there’s a big difference between messy house and a dirty house.

We recently moved house, it’s larger than our previous – this has been a welcomed change with the amount of things a one year old has. Not only is this kid spoilt anyway, add Christmas into the mix and we barely have room to put everything. Why does baby stuff have to be so big and bulky?

I thought I’d share some photos to show you how much of the house this child has taken up. There’s not many places in the house that doesn’t have something of his hiding somewhere.

2015/01/img_0975-0.png The first picture is one view of our theatre room, gone are the days of shelves full of DVD and trinkets. It’s now got toys on the foam coloured mat, boxes of toys and more toys in every corner of the room. This room is now completely dedicated to him, this is his playroom.

2015/01/img_0976-0.png This book sitting in OUR ensuite actually gave me the idea for this blog. I mean why is there a picture book here? Well he needs something to read while mum is in the shower right?! This proves that there is kids stuff everywhere.

2015/01/img_0978.png The bottom of this cupboard is mostly dedicated his things. Excuse the messiness… It starts off neat but over time it just becomes easier to throw it all back in. A lot of his things can’t just stack neatly except for bowls, just not today!

2015/01/img_0977.png Poor bub has been sick on and off the last week or so, this has resulted in the port-a-cot being set up permanently at the end of our bed. Thankfully our new bedroom is quite large and it’s not an inconvenience to have it there. It’s nice for him to be close to us if he’s sick through the night, so I don’t mind it being there at all.

2015/01/img_0974.png Plastic spoons and medication syringes have taken over our cutlery drawer.

2015/01/img_0972.png The living room needs some toys too, he needs something to do while dinner is being made. That only happens of course on the odd chance we can get dinner prepared and started before he’s in bed. Gone are the days of early dinners.

2015/01/img_0969.png Tubs, tubs everywhere. They take up the cupboard of our spare rooms and they’re full of clothes. The sad thing is, he grew so fast, half of them are practically brand new! Maybe we’ll have a boy next and be able to re-use them.

2015/01/img_0970.png Lastly, I had to share this picture of our tv blaring ABC for kids well after the sweet little boy was asleep in bed. Sometimes we can have it on for an hour or so after he’s long asleep and there it is, cartoons playing in the background. This really cemented that we are parents, we’ve made it…. We finally have a little human living in our house. The dream we had, finally came true!

Farewell to my five year olds..

For those who don’t know, I am a Childcare worker, or a Childcare educator as they call us now. I have spent more than 10 years around Childcare and it can really be a fantastic job.

I find that at the end of the year is when I reflect on the job the most and for some reason I have struggled with the thought of this year coming to an end, as it means it’s time to say ‘farewell’ to another batch of kids.

I felt the need to write something this year as I am left so sad that too many of our kids are finishing up and leaving the ‘nest’ most of them are going into full time school or don’t need care anymore – some kids leaving has actually broken my heart a little.

Over the years I have given you cuddles, you’ve reminded me that sometimes – you just need to know someone is there for you.

I have wiped your tears, I have cleaned your scrapes and put band aids on your cuts, you taught me how to be caring.

I have provided you with messy art and craft activities, you taught me that it’s just mess and it can be cleaned.

I’ve seen the wonder and excitement in your eyes when you find something special, you reminded me not to take everyday things for granted – a butterfly IS exciting and beautiful to see.

I’ve seen you grow and learn new things, you reminded me that there are ALWAYS new and amazing things to see and do, no matter how young or old you are.

I’ve seen you take your time in learning how to put your shoes on yourself, how to write your own name, how to dress yourself, I’ve seen you toilet train, I’ve seen you learn to feed yourself, all the while you have taught me patience and understanding and reminded me that it IS hard to learn and master new skills.

Over the years I have not only got to know you, but your entire family. I met your brother, sister, aunty, nanna, poppy and other important people. We are not just Childcare workers – we are lucky enough to also become part of your family.

We get excited when we find out that there is a new sibling on the way, we get upset with you when we hear of a loss to the family (even if it’s a pet) we love hearing about your holidays, we get sad when we find out there is an illness in the family, we get sad when it’s time for you to leave ,because you are not just kids we look after – you have become part of our special daycare family.

The kids I have looked after at daycare will always be referred to as ‘my kids’ if I see something about them online or bump into them 5 -10 years down the track, they’ll always be one of MY kids.

I have kids not only moving into primary school next year, but also kids heading off to high school. It has reminded me that (yes I’m getting older) but also that I have been lucky to call these kids ‘mine’ I’ve been lucky to see them grow up and lucky to have had them be part of my life.

We are not only saying farewell to a bunch of kids this year, but also a lot of entire families as their youngest children move into formal schooling. As the year comes to an end we will say goodbye, but also thanks for the good times kids.. We love you and will miss you terribly!

An anchor you say?

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When Amber found out she was pregnant, we had all these thoughts about what theme we would go for in his bedroom, we had to think about if we would have a certain character we loved and would force upon our child, or just go with something else.

Neither of us had a particular character that we loved, so we didn’t need to worry about having a million Mickey Mouse, Disney Princess, Pooh Bear or Lightning McQueen outfits and/or objects for him – not that there’s anything wrong with them, there was nothing either of us really loved so we didn’t see the point in pushing those things onto him.

Before he was born we ended up deciding on a jungle theme for his bedroom. We kept it quite simple with a couple of animals on the wall, we had a bedroom quilt set and that was all. We also went with the jungle theme as we had soft jungle animals that we had kept from the first pregnancy. It was nice to keep them and use them for Maverick.

Everyone knew I loved the book “The very hungry caterpillar” so Maverick ended up with a few outfits, toys and other various items related to the book. That was probably my first obsession for him, I quickly became the person that I had previously mocked about forcing things you actually like onto your poor defenseless children.

Well there was worse to come! One outfit I got for Maverick early on had an anchor on it. I’d loved anchors for years, ever since my grandad made me an anchor necklace (I still have it today) in 1998. I like the look of them and feel there is a lot of meaning behind them. Anyway, Maverick had this one cute outfit that I saw and had to buy him, then not long after, one of my friends got him a bib with an anchor on it… This started the obsession.

All of a sudden there were clothes and shoes everywhere with anchors on them. If it’s not anchors, it’s something else nautical related. Amber knew she could get away with buying Maverick new stuff if it had anchors or nautical things on it. All of a sudden our baby boy ended mountain of nautical clothes in his cupboard due to MY obsession.

Isn’t it funny how all of our interests and obsessions get forced onto children, ok maybe forced is a little harsh, but it’s not like he can tell me he likes or dislikes what I dress him in or can tell me what he is interested in. He also has several baseball things and football things – why? Because that’s what I like, that’s what our family and friends are interested in and that’s why we buy these things for him purely because it’s what we are interested in.

I’ve already planned out his new bedroom, in the house we will build next year he will have a nautical related theme happening. Unless of course I find a new obsession in the next 12 months. I’ll probably have it all set up and 6 months later he will turn two and be able to tell me that he hates it.

It makes me wonder what themes (if any) have you gone with your kids (clothes or toys) We’re there any particular items you had to buy your baby based on your own interests or what you decided you want your children to like?

What did I sign up for?

I am fairly certain when we signed up to trying for a baby, there was no pre-warning about how emotional parenting would be. As soon as that baby boy came into the world we couldn’t control the emotions surging through our bodies.

I mean of course everyone gets teary at the arrival of their babies, it’s a fairly common thing, but that’s not just what I’m talking about. I teared up several times at his arrival and during his trip down to NICU as any other parent would. I went with him down to the NICU and had to see them shove ice into his 2-3 hour old face, I had to watch them shove needles into his fresh little skin, these are things parents don’t want to see, nobody warned us about the emotional connection you’d have with your baby the minute they arrive.

Amber got all the postnatal emotions as any normal new mother would, hormones were going nuts in there and she had gone through a massive ordeal with the birth of Mav and everything else that happened I only properly cried when Amber was re-admitted to hospital when Mav was around 2 weeks old. I just couldn’t settle him and was waiting for him to settle down before we could leave to visit Amber. I was by myself and had tried everything, bottle, burp, nappy change and nothing helped. I ended up just crying along with him, I remember telling him in between our tears “if you don’t settle, we can’t go and see mummy” and I swear to god he stopped. I don’t know if my getting upset surprised him and made him stop or he just got over it. He was so tired by the time we finally got to the hospital, Amber cuddled him and almost immediately, he fell asleep on her chest. Luckily Ambers dad was there, otherwise I probably would’ve cried again – Mav just needed his Mummy.

This was clearly the beginning of the end… When he was 11 weeks old he had his lip and tongue tie fixed. He needed a procedure to correct this and we knew it was going to be emotional. He was a little unsettled that morning anyway but the procedure involved wrapping him tightly to restrain him and pinning his head down (and still) while the dentist used a laser to burn the extra skin away. His cry was horrible – it shouldn’t have been due to pain, the nurse assured us that he shouldn’t feel a thing, it was more to do with the taste of the numbing agent and because of being held down with such force. It breaks your heart, nobody warns you that your heart literally aches for them when they cry. You just want to take their pain away and it hurts you that you just can’t!

We were teased this week when Amber and I both admitted to crying alongside with Mav one night. We were in the family room watching TV and Mav was sleeping soundly when ALL of a sudden there was an almighty scream. Neither Amber or myself had heard him cry like this before. We suspect he had a nightmare, but in that exact moment we didn’t know what was going on!

As she ran into his room I started with some tears (now it wasn’t full on crying but I was teary) she got him out of bed and we tried to settle him, nope – nothing would work! He then chose that moment to say that word every mother wants to hear, as he sobbed into Ambers shoulder he said ‘mum, mum’ for the very first time. Well that just started the tears all over again! We had never heard him cry like this before and it hurt our hearts to hear him.

Why does this happen? Why do we become so emotional after becoming parents? Why did I get teary when he had his first haircut? Why did I get a little sad the first time I went to work and had to leave him? Why do I want to just cry along with him when he is teething or in pain?

There are many reasons we can no longer control ourselves in what other people may think as a ‘normal task’. I probably got teary when he had his first hair cut as I couldn’t believe how quickly he has grown up – why does it go so quickly!? (It feels like it was only 5 minutes ago that we were trying for him) The first time I left him or took him to daycare it was probably a guilt thing – I should be looking after him, why am I going to work to look after other kids when I have my own to look after?! Of course I have to earn money, but it still isn’t easy to leave him (I want to be greedy and have him all to myself) When he is in pain I get sad because there is nothing I can do to help him. How do I fix him when he can’t even tell me what’s wrong?

It’s not all sad tears though, sometimes the happy tears make an appearance too. Seeing his cousins loving all over him can tickle my eyeballs with tears, seeing him master new skills can spring those happy tears on me too and well just when he is being completely adorable I can get the tears again because we feel so lucky and blessed to finally have him.

Nobody warned us what we were signing ourselves up for, apparently becoming a parent turned us into sooks. Maybe we are just super emotional because we had such a horrible and long journey to become parents? Maybe all parents are like this? I’m not sure, but I do know one thing – I will take my sook card, as long as it comes with my mum card. I’m a sooky mummy and I’m proud of it!

It’s time to catch up!

I never actually updated the blog properly since Maverick was born, sure I did some updates on the whole birth story and what not, but then I kind of just stopped. I’m not really sure what I need to fill you in on so I won’t bore you will all the details of our life over the last 8 months but I will try to catch you up on a few things going on.

I randomly think of all types of things I want to share with everyone, but by the time I think to write the actual blog, I either need to head to work or I am falling asleep from sheer exhaustion. Maverick is a great baby, we are very lucky that he has pretty much always slept through the night but MAN having a kid just makes you permanently tired!

Looking back on some of the old blog posts, it almost feels like a lifetime ago that Amber and I were trying for a baby. We struggled for so long to fall pregnant and had really just thought it would never happen. Now that it HAS happened, it just still doesn’t feel real. I almost worry that one day I will wake up and find out that this was all a dream!

We’ve had some great moments over the last few months watching him grow and develop into a baby (no longer a little newborn) It’s amazing how quickly babies learn how to sit, babble and interact. Everyone is so right when they tell you to embrace every moment you have with them, they won’t be that little forever. Sometimes I do just give him an extra long cuddle when we put him to sleep at night, that’s special bonding time that I don’t want to forget how special it was in a year (or 10) when he doesn’t want cuddles anymore.

Being a childcare worker has not prepared me to become a mother. So many people said to Amber and I “You work in Childcare – you will be more than prepared, you will know what you’re doing” I swear this could not be further from the truth. As soon as he was born – everything that I did know as a childcare worker went completely out the window as a mother. All of a sudden we are ringing sisters and friends asking “What do we do now?He wont poop what should we do? How do I get him to take the breast? Are we doing the right thing?”

By being a mother now, I can relate to parents on a whole new level. Not just parents from work but friends who are also parents. Before baby comes along you can’t explain that your life and priorities will completely change, Now that he is here, I don’t want to go out at his bedtime, I don’t want to take him to a restaurant when he is teething or miserable, I want to spend quality time at home with the family.

Having a baby completely changes your way of thinking and I never realised that until now. It didn’t take long for me to become that crazy daycare mum who will insist you do something insane for their child, or come up with a thousand different ways we can get him to sleep longer at daycare, or give a million different instructions for the day – even though I KNOW the girls know his routine. I need to let the girls do their job while I do mine but it doesn’t help he is a few footsteps away from me in the next room and I can hear him cry or know he is ready for food/sleep/play.

I know this blog is just a random collection of thoughts, but welcome to my life now. I will start a task – lets say dishes, and then 10 minutes later I am sitting on the couch giving Maverick a bottle OR not even doing anything important with him – I might just be sitting and playing with him and BAM its an hour later and the dishes are still there sitting in cold water. I would not change any of that for the world though.

I hope you enjoyed this random, slight catch up on my thoughts blog post. I really want to make the effort to keep you all up to date with our very exciting life. I do update the Facebook regularly with photos and what not – so please head to the Facebook page and like it so you can keep up to date with us. The link to Facebook is at the top right of your computer screen OR scroll down further if you are on your smart phone or other device.